new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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