There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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