youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
