I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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