I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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