I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize