I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
