I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
