I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
