also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
