so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
