Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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