I hope mine doesn't look like that
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
