I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize