I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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