we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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