The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
