lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
