Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
