That's when you crack a 10am beer
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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