no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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