I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
