i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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