I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize