How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
