Did you just see the Batmobile???
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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