we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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