I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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