i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
