We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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