Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
