I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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