They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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