You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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