the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
