Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
