piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
