If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
