Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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