It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
