Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
do herpes really smell.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
