idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
