We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
