Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
