MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
