I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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