so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
