arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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