We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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