i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
