Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
