I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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