just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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