i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
