Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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