I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize