Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
