Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize