Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
