My friends, they love my intelligence
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize