I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize