i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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