dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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