What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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