dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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