She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize