adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
