she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
