At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
