a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize