Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
